4 Myths About Eating Disorder Recovery
There are so many misconceptions when it comes to eating disorder recovery. Eating disorder recovery myths often downplay the difficulty of the healing process or create false expectations which makes the process that much harder.
These expectations that lead to eating disorder recovery myths are partly due to mental health and eating disorder stigma that exists, but it’s also due to the lack of individual stories that are shared of the challenges of recovery. Approaching eating disorder recovery with a compassionate perspective, acknowledging the messy humanness in the process is necessary in order to challenge recovery myths and to support you in the process.
Eating Disorder Recovery Myth #1: Recovery is linear.
Oftentimes we believe that once we start along a path of recovery, it will be steps forward from here on out with a steady upward climb of progress over time. But in reality, recovery is more like peaks and valleys. There will be bumps in the road, but that is completely expected. It takes time to unlearn patterns of behavior, challenge diet culture, and develop a sense of trust in your body. This is because healing from an eating disorder is tremendously hard and why people who are in recovery from an eating disorder truly are brave, fierce, and resilient humans.
As the diagram illustrates, the peaks and valleys occur in the context of progress (upward trajectory) in recovery. We often forget to give ourselves credit for the less tangible progress that is made such as an increasing awareness of thoughts and behaviors, adopting more compassionate self-talk, or learning more about the function of the eating disorder.
Further, the eating disorder recovery progress can be measured and defined in many, many ways and here are a few:
Identifying your values and how you want your relationship with food and body to be
Becoming more critical of diet culture when you see it in the world
Becoming more in-tune with your body’s signals (hunger, satiety, etc.)
Becoming more observant of body image thoughts
Practicing fewer body checking behaviors
Decreasing the kinds of eating disorder behaviors you engage in
Decreasing frequency of eating disorder behaviors
Decreasing intensity of eating disorder behaviors
Know that it may not be a linear journey, but the little things add up.
Eating Disorder Recovery Myth #2: I relapse when eating disorder behaviors come back.
It is so common for you to feel frustration, guilt, or a sense of “how could I let this happen?” if the behaviors had been lessening in frequency, intensity, or had previously stopped. The word “relapse” is commonly used to describe the return of eating disorder behaviors, but this line of thinking can increase feelings of shame and make a difficult process even harder.
Merriam-Webster uses the phrases “the act or an instance of backsliding, worsening, or subsiding” and, “to slip or fall back into a former worse state” to define relapse (1). The term “relapse” with these definitions fails to account for the courage you had to start recovery and the progress you have made in working to understand your eating disorder and start to do things differently. In eating disorder recovery, the return of a behavior does not put you back at square one, it simply means that you are working through your journey and the normal ebbs and flows it brings.
Since the relapse narrative often evokes shame and makes it difficult to practice self-compassion, here are a couple things that you can consider to re-frame the narrative:
You can replace the word relapse with your own word or phrase instead. Examples may include: “obstacle,” or “hurdle.” Language can be powerful, and so using familiar words or metaphors that validate the difficulty in the experience can help you avoid blaming yourself and be self-compassionate even when it is hard.
You can continue to remind yourself (perhaps by placing a hand on your heart) that returning eating disorder behaviors is normal and expected in the process. Normalizing this phenomenon and allowing your expectations to shift can also be helpful.
Eating Disorder Recovery Myth #3: The return of eating disorder behaviors means I am doing recovery wrong.
Feeling defeated, ashamed, confused, or frustrated is so valid when you’ve had a setback. When eating disorder behaviors return it can be so painful and confusing. For this reason, it is critical that we normalize this part of the process. You are a brave and beautifully imperfect human doing one of the hardest things you might ever choose to do.
In recovery you are learning about yourself, gaining supportive tools, setting goals, and challenging yourself. It is messy with ups and downs. Recovery is an ongoing learning process. You are taking ownership of the journey and there is no manual. You are learning by doing and by trial and error.
When an eating disorder behavior returns, it’s a great opportunity to practice curiosity and rethink your next steps with the support of your provider. It’s not about getting it “right,” but about learning. It is much easier said than done, but when an eating disorder behavior returns, slipping into the role of the observer will allow you to better reflect and learn from the experience. There are several questions you might ask yourself to consider the context of the eating disorder behaviors. Here are some examples:
What was going on for me emotionally in that moment?
Who, if anyone, was I spending time with that day?
What was my stress level?
What body image thoughts was I having?
What have the past 24 hours been like for me?
How has eating been like for me the past 24 hours?
Eating Disorder Recovery Myth #4: I just need the willpower to recover.
If recovery could be achieved through simply knowing what to do, then everyone with an eating disorder would be through recovery. While having the desire to continue in recovery is important, most of us know all too well that it’s not just about knowledge.
In recovery you are rewiring your brain and learning new tools after months, years, and a lifetime of eating disorder behaviors. These patterns are familiar and have served a purpose. You may have relied on food as a means of survival- to control, to cope, to soothe, and for many other purposes in order to feel safe in this world.
It is completely understandable that moving past these behaviors is scary because it often brings vulnerabilities, traumas, and other heavy things to the surface. That being said, working with a psychotherapist is so critical in recovery so you can have a safe space and feel supported during the process.
Please know you are right where you need to be. You are not your eating disorder, and the myths you may have heard about recovery do not need to stand in your way. Recovery is not about about doing things “perfectly.” Despite its challenges, recovery is incredibly worthwhile for you to reclaim your time, your headspace, and get to know who you are as a unique human with wonderful gifts to offer the world.
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