Dear Diet Culture Letter: Redefining Emotional Eating

Dear Diet Culture,

It’s me, Sunday.

Just when I want to be enjoying peaches (i’ve really been into this recipe), doing social justice work (endlessly grateful for these emails) , and making sure I am wearing my mask (silver lining of wearing a mask? not having to smile), you distract and disrupt.

In particular, I have been thinking about the stories you tell others about “emotional eating.” I often question if you demonizing emotional eating is just another way for you to gaslight the emotions of others. You know, as way for you to let others know, as the patriarchy dictates, that emotions are for the “weak.”

But if this isn’t the case, what are you trying to do when you label other people’s experience with food as “emotional”? Maybe it has to do with how much you like to elevate being “in control” of food and bodies, almost like it’s virtuous. This would match up with the puritanical and racist history of food in this country. It checks out. for.sure.

No matter your mission, Diet Culture, I want to let you know that you are missing a few big and important pieces before you conclude that any eating outside of “that which is necessary” is emotionally driven.

First, there is not a single agreed upon universal definition of “emotional eating.” In this way, I think you are going to keep shape-shifting so that we can’t take you down. Hard to pin down something that’s undefined. I see your tactic here.

Second, it’s not possible to assess if someone is exclusively eating for emotional reasons if you are first not addressing if they are nourished enough. What you call “emotional eating” may very well be survival-based eating; a way of eating that has allowed a body to continue to function.

Third, there is absolutely nothing wrong with eating to soothe. For many, this was, and may still be, a necessary tool to get through really hard stuff. I am so over you demonizing this. I often draw attention to the fact that healing requires that you add other tools to the coping skills tool belt. I also teach adding in ( slowly over time) awareness, compassion and empathy to eating experiences. And, I always come back to this hard truth: eating to soothe is an option.

In an ideal world, Diet Culture, you would stop using the words “emotional eating” and just call it eating. You would see individuals as complex, food as morally neutral, and emotions as super important and valid. You would see eating to soothe as one of the many coping skills that people use.

But you don’t.

So, I will keep talking about it until you are ready to apologize (but like, a good one).

Sincerely,

Sunday, aka your favorite anti-diet culture Dietitian Katherine