Unlearning Diet Culture: Why Having a Community Makes a Difference
By Katherine Metzelaar, MSN, RDN, CD
Years ago I remember reading information about Weight Watchers that surprised me.
It was in an article that was talking about the longevity of the program and why it’s lasted so long in comparison to other programs of its kind. That despite, for example, there not being a single study that shows that weight loss is sustainable long-term, that they cause harm, perpetuate disordered eating and eating disorders and are the greatest predictor for weight gain, it remains. And that despite the hundreds of programs, shakes, cleanses, juices, and diets that have been sold to the public and existed over time, it has continued to exist through many generations.
What was surprising was that it stated that it was not the supposed "success” of the program, but rather the community meetings that point toward the longevity of the program.
The community meetings?! I was confused.
If you are unfamiliar with weight watchers, the program suggests that you meet with other members of their community to discuss goals, struggles, and challenges. These are also meetings where you get publicly weighed and dieting “tips and tricks” (that are highly disordered) are shared. These meetings are racked with people feeling shame and guilt about their bodies and food.
so, how is this connected to unlearning diet culture, becoming an intuitive eater, and creating a new relationship with your body and food? Because doing the work of breaking away from diet culture can feel lonely.
Really lonely.
It’s lonely because you are pushing back against things you have been taught your whole life that are contrary to the culture at large. It’s lonely because as you are healing, the people around you are still practicing the same things you are trying to move away from. It’s lonely because it feels like no one else is experiencing the same struggles and pain that you are.
It’s lonely because dieting, restricting your food intake, and hating your body are all socially acceptable ways of connecting to others and are also seen as “normal” behaviors. It’s lonely because it’s hard work to recover, and the people around you cannot see how hard you are working and the glimmers of hope in your small, but very mighty and important wins. It’s lonely because stigma around mental health prevents you from talking about what it is you are carrying with you every day.
Being alone in your suffering can make the journey of healing your relationship with food and your body feel unbearable at times. And in order to help ease some of that loneliness and feel supported alone the way, you will need support from a community. And this is a good thing! You were not meant to do this alone.
Remember that human connection and feeling a part of a community is necessary for humans. We survived as a species through community; our interdependence literally has saved us.
There is nothing that can replace the feeling of hearing someone say “me too” after you have shared the depths of your shame and guilt around food and your body. There is not a video or blog post that can replace hearing a non-diet practitioner say, “this is not your fault.” There is nothing like the feeling of being able to say what you really mean and have others just get it, without you having to explain yourself.
Remember that while I do not support diets like weight watchers, I think there is something we can learn here and that is: community is essential to our human experience.
And, if you are on your non-diet, intuitive eating journey, having support along the way will help you to feel less lonely and help to propel you forward. It will help you to feel a greater sense of support, encouragement and hope.
And isn’t that what we could all use a little more of?
You’ll also love…
Do you feel alone in your efforts to beak free from diet culture?
Unlearning diet culture and pursuing recovery can feel lonely and sometimes feel like an uphill battle. Having support can make a world of difference! The caring dietitians from our Seattle, WA-based nutrition counseling practice would be honored to help you heal your relationship to food and body. We offer a variety of services including support for eating disorders, body image, intuitive eating, Bulimia treatment, Anorexia treatment, and chronic dieting. We also offer a body image support group. For more information, please feel free to visit our blog, FAQ, resources page, or contact us now!