How To Navigate Diet Talk At Work

By Katherine Metzelaar, MSN, RDN, CD

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Part of existing in a diet culture means that healing your relationship with food will be a radical act, one that not everyone will understand. And this is especially true at the workplace. 

It’s very common as you heal your relationship to food you will start to see all the places and spaces, nooks and crannies, where diet culture and diet talks show up. You'll start to see it at the doctor's office, at the grocery store, at your In-laws house, on tv… literally everywhere you go because after all, it’s the culture! But sometimes one of the most challenging places to navigate diet culture talk is at the workplace.

What do you say when everyone at work is talking about diets? How do you react when everyone at work supports dieting and expects that same of you? What do you say when Mary from PR tries to sell you some weird diet shake? Or when Iris from the social media team won’t stop talking about her NOOM diet and how you should join too? Or when Von from marketing is eating an Optavia bar and talking about how it’s “just like dessert.” 

So why is it so hard to say something at work when diet talk comes up? 

You may have let a lot of people in your life know about your journey with intuitive eating or recovery from disordered eating/eating disorder. You’ve gone through the steps of asking them to not talk about diets or bodies, you’ve set some loving boundaries and are feeling pretty good. But work feels SO different for you and feels even harder to speak up. So let’s talk about the reasons why this may be the case for you. 

You have people pleasing tendencies 

If you are a person that often sacrifices your own needs to make other people happy, doesn’t speak what’s on your mind for fear that someone may not like you, do everything in your power to make sure that the people around you are pleased with you, feel responsible for how other people feel, apologize often, have a hard time saying no, feel uncomfortable when someone is angry at you and go to great lengths to avoid conflict, you have people pleasing tendencies. 

When you have people pleasing tendencies it’s especially hard to navigate diet culture talk at work because you don’t want to upset anyone. You worry that people will be mad at you or that you would be responsible for any feelings that may come up for them if you were to say something about your discomfort and ask that they not talk about diets with you anymore. 

You fear loss of your job and/or you have a toxic boss/colleagues/workplace 

Let’s be real: not all workplaces are the same. This means that there are many people who fear loss of their jobs for all kinds of reasons. And whether it’s been communicated overly or not, it may feel like your job hinges on how well you “fit it.” Fitting in can show up in all kinds of toxic and harmful ways and one of them is participation in diet culture. This can look like whole offices going on diets together, doing “challenges” together for food and exercise, putting pressure on you to follow a diet, and much more. And depending on your circumstances, it can feel really hard to push back against some of the pressure you're feeling or express how uncomfortable you feel when you fear loss of your job. 

Additionally, having a toxic manager/boss or colleagues can make saying something about your discomfort really hard. If they’ve discredited you or others, or you’ve seen the way that they have mistreated others when they’ve spoken out, you may feel apprehension around speaking about how you don’t want to talk about diets. 

You have a hard time setting boundaries

Personal boundaries are the limits and rules that we set for ourselves and with others in relationships and this applies to relationships you have at work too. Boundaries allow you to communicate your needs and feel safe in relationships. Having healthy boundaries means that you value your own opinions, that you don’t compromise your values for others, that you share personal information in an appropriate way, that you know personal wants and needs and can communicate them and that you’re accepting when others say “no” to them.

Many people have a hard time setting boundaries in their life which can mean that people at work may be crossing boundaries but aren't aware of it, in this case how talking about diets is not something that you want to do. And because of this, thinking about setting boundaries around diet culture talk at work can be super hard. 

You fear getting kicked out of the group or being ostracized

Since the beginning of time, human beings have been dependent on groups for their survival. Not being a part of a group meant that you would not survive and not be able to withstand all the threats from the outside world. And despite our dependence on being in a group to survive not being so true anymore, we haven't evolved much as humans to realize this. 

So why am I talking about evolution in the context of diet culture at the workplace? Because fear of getting kicked out of a group can trigger the more primal part of our nervous systems to think that it’s a threat to our own safety and survival. This can most certainly come up in the context of your workplace as a “group” and feeling fear of no longer being a part of it.

So what do you do and how do you navigate diet talk when it comes up at work?

Now that you have an understanding of the reasons why it can be so hard to navigate diet talk at work and speak up when your colleagues or manager starts talking about their new diet or lifestyle program, let’s talk about some things that you can do that will help you feel calmer at work when people start talking about diets. 

Find other ways to connect with your colleagues. 

When your colleagues come to you talking about diets it can be helpful to remember a few things about them so that you are able to connect with them about things other than what they're eating or how they’re exercising. 

For example, your coworker comes to you and starts talking about MyFitness pal and how great it is to track calories and movement. You know you don’t want to be having this conversation but you worry about upsetting them or hurting the relationship. So you can say, “I’m so glad you’re feeling good and that’s working out for you” and then change the topic to something related to them. 

You can do this by remembering what’s going on in their life. Are they going to school? Do they have kids? Are they taking a cool new art class? So after you acknowledge how they’re feeling on this new diet, change the topic and ask a question about something else that is going on in their life. This is often a great way to escape diet culture conversations. 

Be transparent when possible. 

This one is optional but it can often feel and be really helpful. I recommend doing this on an individual basis rather than sharing with a whole group when possible. More specifically, you can share some of what you’re doing, learning and experiencing as a way to be transparent with your colleague(s).

You can say, “I’m really working on my relationship with food and trying to challenge a lot of long held beliefs about bodies and food which is hard work! And, I’ve realized that talking about diets, dieting, cutting out food groups and exercise is really hard for me and not something that I am interested in anymore. Would it be ok if we didn’t talk about that stuff for a while as I heal?” You can play around this language here regarding what might feel most comfortable to you. Please know that you don’t have to share everything about your healing journey, but rather just enough to be able to ask that they support you.

Don’t engage in conversations that are triggering (this includes leaving conversations). 

This especially applies to you if you’re a person for whom it is hard to set boundaries and you find yourself not wanting to rock the boat or upset anyone. You don’t have a responsibility to hold space for anyone who is still stuck in diet culture and dieting if you’re not ready and/or don’t want to be having those conversations. You can physically get up and leave any workplace conversations that you don’t want to be in. You can excuse yourself and say you need to go to the bathroom or if it’s online, you can mute the conversation or turn off your camera when possible. While this may not always be possible, you can apply this when and where it is possible. 

Educate others about diet culture (if you desire) 

This is not an obligation and it’s usually not something that people feel comfortable with in the beginning of their healing journey, but it’s something you can experiment with if it resonates with you. And if you choose to educate others, I suggest leading with the personal as this is often what’s most effective in getting people to hear you out.

What this sounds like in practice is saying, “I used to have a really messed up relationship with food and was constantly on diets, but I don't anymore and so much of that is due to learning more about diet culture. “ You could pause here to see what they say or you could continue on and say “would it be cool if I share a bit about what I’ve learned and how I’ve had to challenge a lot of my previous beliefs about food?” If they say yes, you can educate and share some of your experience. 

The reality is, navigating diet culture and diet talk at work is hard. There will be some workplaces where you will be able to set boundaries and others where it doesn’t feel safe to do so. Don’t be hard on yourself as you sort out how to let your colleagues know that diet talk is no longer something you want to engage in. When you can try starting with having one-on-one conversations with people you trust at work about what you’re experiencing and find a community outside of work to support you as you navigate workplace diet-talk difficulties.

If you liked this article, you may also like to check out the video!

Do you want to stop dieting for good and feel freedom with food?

Creating a better, more intuitive relationship with food takes time especially when you have been chronically dieting for many years. The caring dietitians from our Seattle, WA-based nutrition counseling practice would be honored to help you heal your relationship to food. We offer a variety of services including support for eating disorders, body image, intuitive eating, Bulimia treatment, Anorexia treatment, binge eating, and chronic dieting. We also offer a body image support group. For more information, please feel free to visit our blog, FAQ, resources page, or contact us now!