How To Date Online While In Eating Disorder Recovery
You’re committed to your recovery journey, and you’re also ready to develop romantic connections.
You’ve dabbled in the online dating world, but you’re concerned. Your body is changing, and you don’t know how to online date in a world where the first thing a potential partner judges you by is your physical appearance, especially with online dating being the norm.
Dating online is hard enough as it is. It can feel nearly impossible to date while recovering from an eating disorder or disordered eating! There are so many things you have to work through emotionally, mentally, and physically, and it can feel daunting to think about sharing that with another person.
Your worries and stress about dating in eating disorder recovery might sound a little like this:
I don’t want someone to judge me based on my appearance.
I don’t have recent photos, and I don’t want them to be surprised if I look different in person.
I don’t want to share my struggles with another person.
I’m scared that rejection from a person I’m dating will set me back in my recovery process.
I’m worried that the person I connect with won’t understand my struggles with food and my body
It’s completely normal to have these thoughts. These are valid body image concerns for so many people in eating disorder recovery, and it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve the joys of romantic connections! Eating disorder recovery and online dating don’t have to be mutually exclusive!
5 Tips For Online Dating While In Eating Disorder Recovery
#1. Do a self check-in before beginning the dating process.
Before you start online dating, it’s so important that you check in with yourself. See where you are in your recovery process, and ask yourself whether this is something that will enhance your progress in recovery or hinder it. It’s important that you’re far enough along in your recovery journey where things are more stable and know more about what you want in a potential partner. If you’re just beginning your recovery journey or are apprehensive of the online dating scene, it might be worthwhile to wait a little while before jumping in. There’s nothing wrong with taking the time that you need before jumping in.
#2. Work toward honoring and embracing your recovered body.
It can be challenging to cope with a changing body while in recovery. You may even feel that if you’re having a hard time accepting your new body, how is anyone else going to? It’s valid to be concerned about weight stigma in the online dating world, but avoiding your new body will only stall your recovery process.
Challenge yourself to honor the body that’s gotten you this far and find ways to embrace your physical appearance as it is today! Try these strategies to honor and embrace your changing body:
Take new photos for your dating profiles
Consider hiring a photographer for ease
Engage with the outside world more often
This can be joining a group, coffee shops, etc.
Wear comfortable clothes
See friends and family more
#3. rejection doesn’t mean you’re less worthy of love or that you’re not desirable.
It’s common when you get rejected that you blame your body, especially if you don’t like your body now (or maybe never have). And, how worthy you are of love, connection and relationship is not determined by your body shape and size.
It’s impossible for someone to know you fully from what they see on the internet, and oftentimes a first, second, or third date doesn’t give you and a potential mate a full understanding of a person. It’s important for you to know that rejection doesn’t mean you are any less of a wonderful human being, it just means that this wasn’t your person.
#4. you are more than a body
While online dating apps tend to highlight physical appearance, you are more than a body. You have dreams, passions, grand ideas and so much more that makes you wonderful and who you are. Anyone who judges you on your physical appearance is missing out on the wonderful qualities that make you you.
#5. Know that it’s okay to take your time with dating
When you’re in disordered eating or eating disorder recovery, know that it’s so okay and completely normal to take it slow with dating. You can take as much time as you need to prioritize yourself, your recovery, and what you want out of your dating experiences! This might look like limiting date nights to a few per month, only dating one person at a time and/or taking time off the dating apps when you need to.
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Want support in your eating disorder or disordered eating recovery journey? We’re here to help!
At Bravespace Nutrition, we understand how complicated the recovery journey can be. Our caring, nonjudgmental dietitians are here to help navigate your recovery process and support you in healing your relationship with your body and food. To get started today, schedule a free 15-minute discovery phone call!